How big is victory

GOD, it seems, mocked me. Yes He did but in a good way.   

And He did it to me after feeling so burn out with all these work in church and in university and study for a licensure exam.

You see, for church, I have this primary mission to schedule seven mini concerts in seven local high schools and to fill in 5,000 seats for a concert. These are all happening next week. For university, in preparation for the department’s application as Center of Development, my boss has assigned me to a number of tasks, the last of which is to take a screen shot of the alumni page, and I have not done it yet as I am writing this part of the piece.    

I have tried to evade from a number of these must-dos like playing dodge ball at youth summer camp. Oops, sorry. That’s the truth. As much as I wanted to escape, I just can’t. I need to do them. I can’t most especially the preparation part for the licensure exam. And guess what, the exam is happening after the weeklong confabs and mini concerts. Great. (Straight face).

I have to pass the exam. Though the license does not really spell ‘future’ for me, but I have to because it will help me, in a way, realize my vision of being like Paul, a tent-making missionary. I want to go to Indonesia next year and teach English in an international school. And I can’t fail the exam because I do not want to disappoint my mother.

And what is it with her recently? She has become banal. As far as I can remember, for the past two weeks already and this week, in particular, her text messages are all but a reminder to pay my PhilHealth dues. She has incessantly done it and it’s getting into my nerves oftentimes.

But she has a point, I just realized it now. With all load on me, I am dead. I am because busy is an understatement.  

And so here I am, a dead man seated in a cushioned couch inside our pastor’s house. The soft cushion is a treat to my butt as the green-painted wall is to my stressed eyes. I have just arrived from a community college to personally hand the letter of request to the school president asking him to allow us to throw a campus mini concert despite the fact it is a short notice. I am hoping against hope that he will.

Rabbi was ironing his clothes behind where I was seated and the old lady next to me was reading a showbiz magazine with Piolo Pascual on the cover page. I could have been the one reading it but I was glad that I got something else in hand.

I continued to read the magazine that I borrowed from my pastor’s wife. I got it from her the day before and started to like it after noticing the layout, the color and the content of the first few pages.

I started to like it after one of its articles titled Music with a Purpose spoke to me. As a fledgling musician and as a youngster, it hit me. I like the direct quotations of the interviewee so much that even if I was inside a mobile jeepney on my way to a local daily to meet my students, I was still reading it. Intently. I was savouring his every word and it was prompting me to encode it in my cellphone verbatim and send it as a group message to my Timothy’s and co youth leaders.  

And today, God spoke to me through an article in the magazine. He has challenged me to put my heart in what I do and to give it my all. And this He did despite the fact that I have already drowned myself, it seems, in these overwhelming tasks.

Elisha, from what I have read, had told the king of Israel to strike continuously the Assyrian army. But the king did not. He struck the enemy only thrice. Then he stopped.

I remembered, as I was reading the story, how I am wobbly these days when I am on my feet. I have noticed of this dizziness. And who does not become dizzy when you’ve got seven schools to visit, 5,000 seats to fill in, heaps of pages to write on and to read? Sleep has become a luxury for me. I have burned my midnight candle one night after the other. And here comes God telling me to give it my all.  It was as if what I have done do not suffice.

Isn’t these enough? I asked. Don’t get me wrong. I am not fishing for compliment.

Clearly, the answer to my question is a big YES for the simple reason that He knows that there is more that I can do than what I have already done.

In the story, there was an opportunity for the king to defeat the enemy but his attitude determined the outcome. He could have struck Syria but the middle-of-the-road king did not. So he has not destroyed it.

   

Nobody wants defeat. Nobody wants to lose. Winning needs more than the best effort that one can give. It asks you to give your all.

I liked what I have read today. It challenged me not to be mediocre; to strive for excellence, not for men but for Him. God mocked me for my good and because He did, now I have an idea of how big the victory is ahead of me.