Where she is

WHILE trying to finish a cup of strawberry-mango flavored tea with black pearls swimming in it at Da Tsa, I received a text message from my mother. As usual, it was blunt: john, diri ra ka kaon

I struggled to decipher whether the sentence she has constructed sans a punctuation mark was declarative or interrogative. The weird concoction of a stick of probin, a saucer of kwik-kwik and siomai and a cup of froccino primo Oreo at Bo’s before the tea may have taken its toll on me ergo the delay of my reply.

But eventually, I settled for the assumption that it was an inquiry she made, the answer to which will help her decide of her last activity of that day: to cook a meal for me and to leave the door unlock or simply to fall into a deep sleep.

No was my curt reply.

And so when I arrived home, I was not surprised she has sounded intermittently a lot of ZZZzzzsss.

But what if it was a declarative text message and that I did not bother to confirm if it was? This I thought as I quietly sat in our dilapidated sofa and untie my shoelace. That could have caused more gap between me and my Mama. The gap I think exists even more evidently now as compared to those days when Papa has just started to become ill until the few weeks after his burial.

I have always feared that Mama and I will grow as strangers to each other under one roof given the circumstance we are in right now. We both work. She cooks for my aunt’s calenderia, which requires her to sleep early because she has to wake up a little before the break of dawn. While I wake up almost always between breakfast and lunch already and comes home late at night when she’s asleep already.

A couple of days ago, in a rare mother-and-son conversation, I told her of my plans next semester: continue with teaching but take up Professional Education and give up leading Campus Ministry at church or find another job that is still related to writing or to dealing with young people, either way, preferably with a non-government organization.

She conceded with the former. But upon sensing her reluctance caused by the uncertainty of how we can pay for my tuition fee, I suggested to affiliate with one more school to make ends meet.

She beamed with anticipation with the latter option, especially knowing that NGOs pay big time. But I burst her bubble when I mentioned of the possibility of working away from home, either in mega Manila or in metro Davao. She paused. Then she spoke softly, with affection, as she requested for me to come home as often, every week she meant unwittngly, if I work in Davao.

Little did she know that after she made that appeal, the child in me, one who struggles to strike on his own and yet wants to feel safe by a parent’s side (usually the mother), has resurged.

Not that I have completely trashed the idea of working away from home but it seems that for now, I would rather stay in my comfort zone.

I have resolved more strongly now than ever that:

(1) I’d find a way for me to take her out to a restaurant, once in a while, to a more fancy resto than the one we went to last year during her 49^th birthday.

(2) I’d be more caring especially now that she is in her menopausal period. These signs of menopause, particularly hotflash, are driving me paranoid.

(3) I’d be more responsible at home and not be bossy.

(4) We’d visit Camiguin Island, her province, if we have the means to do so to relax.

(5) I’d talk with her and be more open.

(6) And that I’d join her eat meals as much as possible.

Seven random facts about myself

I was born one minute past 12 midnight of October 15, 1985. That means my birthdate is on October 16.

I have always thought that my right palm is dirtier than my left. No, it’s not dirt. It’s a birthmark.

My uncle (deceased) thought that a Hercules was born on that day since it was raining hard and it seemed that the night sky, with roaring thunder, was mad when I came out. He thought he was wrong because all my childhood days, I was a skinny lad.

I would like to believe that I am strong not physically though. My paternal aunt, the one next to my papa, gave me the biblical name John David . Just in case I am talking to someone like Landon Carter in A Walk to Remember, here are basic facts about the epitome of my name:

John is known as the Evangelist or the Divine and is one of the one of the 12 Apostles and the brother of James the Great. He is traditionally considered the author of the fourth Gospel, which is the Book of John, and as well as the Book of Revelation, the last book in the Bible.

David, one of the characters in the Bible that I so love, is responsible for slaying the uncircumcised giant named Goliath. He succeeded Saul as King. He is known to be the author of the Book of Psalms. And my favorite fact about him is that he is a man after God’s own heart.

I grew up at church which was once just at our backyard then moved to the biggest theatre in the city then to one of the busiest markets in the city. I was raised a Born-Again Christian and was taught that Jesus is the only way to Heaven, not through good works or intelligence or religion. From being a Sunday school kid to being one of the teachers in it and to being a director in our church’s kids camp to being a keyboardist to being one of the youth leaders and currently overseeing the Campus Ministry, I practically was a church kid.

They thought I’d become a pastor but I am a teacher by profession. But before I became part of what used to be my department as a college student, I was a telemarketer. I tried it because I was curious what it feels like to be part of the industry that was once at its peak that time. I quit after a paid three weeks of being a greenhorn. Though it was just a short stint but it is worth mentioning that I was a content writer in the short-lived Chum City Radio, the youth arm of the now defunct Mom’s Radio. Then I joined the teaching force of the department of Development Communication. I have been teaching for three years now. I have found my passion.

Pathetic. I once ate inside one of the toilet rooms in the second floor of the Science Center building because, one, I thought that Xavier canteen back when I was a freshman in college is humid, and two, because I was puffy that I do not associate with people I think not in the same plane as me. But I have changed.

Treasures in trials

Think not like a civilian when you are in hardship, but think like a good soldier.

Know that a good solider does not seek sympathy but endures in hardship. Only the best soldiers endure. The brainchild of the 9/11 attacks, Osama Bin Laden, was tracked and killed by the best soldiers who are part of the Navy Seal Team Six. The team is one of United States' four secretive counter-terrorism groups. And these soldiers, before becoming a part of such an elite group, have gone through an arduous training.

Know that a strong character is in every good soldier who has endured the hard training. Nothing could be more perfect as an example, from the Bible, of a person who has gone through a lot of hardship in life but Joseph. Think about this: he was sold into slavery by the very people who are supposed to love him and not betray him, his biological brothers; he was locked in prison for he chose to keep his integrity intact by not having sex with his master’s wife.

But behind Joseph’s bitter experience was the wonderful plan of God. He was promoted by God in a very strategic position and became the second most powerful man, next to Pharaoh. These were all orchestrated by God.

And when his brothers came and sought his help during a time of famine, he welcomed and forgave them. He could have retaliated but he did not. He endured and in the process developed a strong character. He forgave and forgives.

And lastly, know that a strong character developed through enduring hardships makes someone optimistic. Job was positive even if the circumstances around him seem to invite him to reproach God – his oxens, donkeys, camels were stolen; his sheeps were burned up by 'the fire of God which fell from the sky; the house of his firstborn collapsed due to a mighty wind and his offspring were killed; and Job himself was smitten with awful boils which he scraped with broken pottery.

His wife prompted him to "curse God, and die" but instead, he shaved his head, tore his clothes and blessed the name of the Lord saying: "Naked I came out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return: the Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of Lord."

Know that there is always hope. The biblical story ended happily with Job restored to good health and as well as his possessions. He had acquired 13,000 sheeps; 6,000 camels; 2,000 oxens; 2,000 donkeys. He had 7 sons and 3 beautiful daughters, and he lived up to the fourth generation down his line.

Today, Texas, the second largest state in the US is locked in a historic drought. The water level in Lake Whitney State Park – which is once a perfect place for boating, fishing, scuba diving and water skiing – has receded and has exposed caverns. And this record-setting drought has turned the place into a treasure trove for treasures hunters. They have unearthed from the underwater caverns 8,000-year-old fossils and Native American tools from prehistoric times. Priceless artifacts.

Good soldier, know and find the treasures in your trials.

This is base on Rev Alex Eduave’s sermon on Oct 2, 2011, Romans 5:3-5, at Celebration International Church Network and is for his student whom he knows is going through a rough time.