The story involves Amnon and Tamar. Amnon was Tamar's half-brother. King David was both Amnon and Tamar's father. However, Amnon and Tamar had different mothers. Tamar was very beautiful and Amnon thought that he was in love with her. He wanted to have sex with her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it because Tamar was a virgin. Under the Old Testament law, a man who raped an unmarried woman was required to marry her (
Exodus 22:16-17). As we see from how the story ends, Amnon did not want to marry Tamar. He just wanted to have sex with her. He wanted it so badly that he was becoming ill. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Amnon had a crafty friend who suggested a way for Amnon to get Tamar alone. Perhaps Amnon thought he could get away with it if no one saw him raping his sister. Perhaps he thought he could convince Tamar not to tell anyone or that she would be so ashamed of what happened that she would not tell anyone about it.
Whatever the reason, Amnon played up his illness. His father asked if there was anything that he could do for his son. Amnon asked permission for Tamar to come to his house and prepare a meal for him. David, not suspecting anything, granted Amnon's wish and sent Tamar to his house. After preparing the meal, Amnon refused to eat until everyone left the house. He then asked Tamar to serve the meal in his bedroom. Once they were alone in the room, Amnon told Tamar that he wanted to have sex with her. Tamar refused. If Amnon wanted her so badly, he should have asked David for her hand in marriage. Tamar was certain David would have permitted it. However, as we already noted, Amnon was not interested in marriage. Because he was stronger than Tamar, he forced her into bed and raped her.
Once he satisfied his lust, he no longer wanted his sister. She told him that she should now live in his house as his wife (as the Law required) . However, Amnon became enraged and had his servants throw her out of the house.
Do you think that Amnon truly loved his sister or was he interpreting his lust for her as love? Many people continue to think that desiring to have sex with someone means that you are in love with that person. Such an idea is plainly false according to the Scriptures!
Who do you think is guilty of sin? Obviously, Amnon is guilty, but what about his crafty cousin, Jonadab? God said in Romans 1:32, that those who encourage others to sin are as deserving of death as those who actually commit the sinful act. Do you think Tamar also committed a sin? If you said yes, you are wrong. Throughout this story, Tamar tried to convince Amnon to abide by the Law of Moses. Even after the first sin, she still tried to make the best of a bad thing and marry the fool according to the Law. From all that we can see, Tamar did not want to break God's law and tried hard to resist Amnon. Amnon only won out because he was stronger than she.
Let us examine what the Law of Moses taught about rape. In Exodus 22:16-17 and Deuteronomy 22:28-29, a situation is described where a man has sex with a woman who is unmarried, not engaged, and has not engaged in sex with anyone else. The act of sex between the couple could have been willingly done or unwillingly done. In either case, the man must pay the woman's father a dowry of 50 shekels of silver. A dowry is money or things given to the woman's parents for the privilege of marrying a woman. The man was expected to marry the woman, unless the woman's father absolutely refused. In addition the man lost any rights to divorce his wife. Even if the father refused to allow his daughter to marry the man, the man still had to pay the dowry.
Where the woman is married or engaged to be married, the penalty is much more severe (Deuteronomy 22:23-29). In the times when the Bible was written, being engaged was considered nearly the same as married. If the man raped the woman in an area where other people were nearby, it is assumed that the woman willingly had sex with the man since no one heard her cry out. In this case both the man and the woman were stoned to death. If the rape took place where it was unlikely anyone would have heard the woman scream, the man was stoned but the woman was presumed to be innocent of any sin.
A woman has not committed a sin just because she was raped. Unfortunately, many people don't seem to understand this. Too often people assume that the woman must have enticed the man in some way. If not directly, then by the way she dressed or by the way she moved. Imagine that you just had your bike stolen and a friend of yours walks up to you:
"Someone stole your bike. Too bad. You really ought to have been more careful. Serves you right, leaving your bike out where a person couldn't help but want to steal it."
"What do you mean? I locked my bike before I went to class. They cut the chain with a bolt cutter."
"Sure. Even if you did remember to lock it, why did you leave your brand new bike out in front of the building where everyone could see it?"
Do you see how this "friend" is implying that you were guilty of some undefined sin because you had a bike stolen? The same thing happens when a woman is accused of leading a man on. It doesn't matter what she did or did not do from the man's perspective. The man still had sex with a woman with whom he was not married! No matter how you look at it, the man is guilty of sin. Being lead into sin doesn't lessen his guilt one bit. If the woman willingly had sex with the man, then she too is guilty of sexual immorality. However, if she resisted to the best of her ability, then she is innocent before God.
Raping a woman is wrong! It not only violates a woman by forcing her to do something that she did not want to do; it is also a violation of God's law. Rape is just another form of fornication.
Recently, some women have tried to redefine rape as any time a woman has sex and the woman did not want it at that time. This is an inaccurate definition by God's standard. In a marriage, a woman is never to withhold sexual privileges from her husband; just as a man must always be ready to satisfy his wife's desire for sex (I Corinthians 7:2-5). From the Bible's perspective, it is not possible for a husband to rape his own wife.
Source: http://lavistachurchofchrist.org/LVstudies/GrowingUpInTheLord/Boys/11Rape.htm
